Monthly Archives: September 2022

25 sure-fire ways to get kicked out of a game

RPG map, rulebooks and dice
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A few years back, I did a post called 27 sure-fire ways to get kicked out of a game. Since it’s been a while, I thought I’d do an update of the list, particularly since the actual list only contained 25 items (mea culpa).

Even the most die-hard GMs will change sides of the table occasionally, even if it’s a pick-up game at a con. You’d think we’d make the perfect players, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, all too often GMs-turned-players are the most difficult players in a group. Here’s a tongue-in-cheek list of how exactly not to play.

  1. Repeatedly arrive extremely late to a game session without calling to let people know.
  2. Repeatedly miss a game session after assuring the GM you’d be there.
  3. Refuse to learn the basics of the rules of the system you’re playing.
  4. Hog the spotlight.
  5. Give long lectures on how the game you run is better than this one; tell the GM what he’s doing wrong and offer frequent unsolicited advice on how to run the way you would.
  6. Recite a Monty Python or Princess Bride quote for everything that happens during the game.
  7. Insist on roleplaying every moment of an extremely boring supply run. (Interesting, RP-focused supply runs are great).
  8. Turn everything said into a sexual innuendo.
  9. Make overt sexual advances to every eligible PC in the party.
  10. Make overt sexual advances to every eligible player in the group.
  11. Argue for every advantage you can squeeze out of the system, even if it takes an hour to win a +1 bonus.
  12. Insist that the GM look up an obscure rule in the middle of combat.
  13. Expect everything to go your way because the GM is your significant other.
  14. Loudly and frequently complain about how your favorite rules system is better than the one the GM is currently using.
  15. Constantly brag about your über-character in another game and how she would wipe the floor in this one.
  16. Refuse to get dice of your own and insist on rolling other people’s favorites.
  17. Continuously forget to bring your character sheet so you can make up numbers on the fly.
  18. Play while drunk (or high)–unless your entire group enjoys drinking to excess while gaming.
  19. Deliberately and/or constantly ignore the rules of the house you’re playing in (such as putting your feet on the coffee table, not using a coaster, etc.)
  20. Torment your host’s pet(s).
  21. Play computer games while you’re in session to point it distracts other players
  22. Repeatedly charm members of your own party.
  23. Repeatedly steal from members of your own party.
  24. Insist on going off on your own on a regular basis.
  25. Claim every useful bit of treasure as your own.

How about you? What have I forgotten that really raises your hackles? Please share!